As I've aged into a senior jewelry artist, I've become more introspective on who I'm settling into. Yes, I've learned to "ratchet it down" over the years as it didn't always serve me that well. Obsession with details became a bad habit. The time wasted didn't always get me what I wanted but achieving "stuff" kept me focused.
This article from Psychology Today "Does Perfectionism Kill Creativity or Feed It?"gave me a broader understanding of the double edged sword of perfectionism. I'm usually not big on using labels but I think I've morphed into a "constructive perfectionist". I guess that I'm also a perfectionist in recovery. So, after reading it, perhaps you will have discovered the type of creative person you are...?
I had a dream last night and in that dream a friend and I were bringing dirt to contribute to some local project. When we arrived a huge truck was in front of us and it was obvious that their dirt was going to fill all the space. We were upset because we wanted our contribution to be used and to stand out. We had a choice of taking the dirt back with us or finding a way to integrate it into the load that the big truck was leaving. What we came to understand and realize in that dream is that our contribution was meant to meld into another. We were not meant to stand alone in any kind of glory for our contribution. I think we ended up merging ours with the larger load. In fact, I believe the huge truck helped us to distribute our load with theirs so that we could feel we had contributed too.
There are a lot of lessons and symbolism in this story. Many of them have occurred to me but I'm sure there are tons more. What we realized was that it wasn't important for us to stand out, that it was more important to make a contribution and feel the goodness of that. It also meant that the diversity of contributions melding together was somehow a sacred thing to do. The mountains sent me this dream last night.
Earlier in the day I shot video of the mountains behind us and the weather that was becoming windy and strong. (click link to see it on Google!) The wind blew all night long with heavy gusts. We haven't heard this kind of wind since last winter here in Utah. I think the dream seeped in through the windows and came into me. I am connected to these mountains. They welcomed me last night as I approach my 67th birthday this week. Such a Gift!