Settling in isn't as easy as it sounds. The occasional uneasiness I feel during any one day tells me that I am in the process of settling in, whatever that is supposed to mean. We've only been here 17 days now. As you know, patience isn't one of my virtues so I have been (naively?) hoping that after unpacking the car and arranging our things, finding the grocery stores that suit our lifestyle, and setting a daily routine of walking these incredible St. George trails, some of the foreignness would melt away. And some of it has, actually. I can now take a shower and have all my things at my fingertips instead of searching through a travel cosmetic bag. My pots and pans have taken over the kitchen here and the resident pots are stored away. Luckily, our furnished condo has the best of furniture and we sleep so well in its king size bed. I was not expecting a plug and play experience when we moved away from everything we owned and everyone we knew, don't get me wrong. In fact, I wanted a complete change and that's what I'm getting. I'm not saying that any one thing is bothering me just that I feel like a fish out of water.
My studio is setup here but it is not the same studio I had there. Far from it. My creative energy wants there and it cannot have it. So I am ignoring the new studio and have moved to the living room couch in front of the TV (not) watching with Nathan but working on jewelry there. There is a sort of "clingy-ness" between myself and Nathan, me to him. I have a studio here but it's not that studio. Something about sitting in my domain, that studio was feeding my soul. Now something is missing. I spent a large portion of my day in there and that part of my life has to be recreated. We will move from here in four months so this is really just an interim studio. I am learning from this rental just how to manage the next one. Until we decide to settle down in one place, this will be the drill.
I am missing the companionship of my girlfriends even though we did not see each other all that often. One month ago, a phone call could mean a lunch date or at least a nice phone chat over coffee. Those phone chats over coffee are something I am beginning to reach out for now that I'm (a little more) settled. As I reread this I realize that settling in (for me) literally means transitioning into a new environment. And so this is the way it must be for now. I thank my lucky stars I still have all my jewelry making supplies to feed my creative needs, and I am pleasantly surprised that my creativity does not get derailed by the television in front of me. I am wrapping stones and creating some gorgeous original pieces! The energy in the mountainous trails we explore is feeding me.
I am beginning to enjoy cooking again with MY pots and pans. (smile). In past years I was preoccupied for so long with other activities--usually business related-- that cooking became more of a have-to than a want-to. Nathan did much of the cooking (thank God)! Now unencumbered, I have time to focus more on preparing fresh foods for cooking and returning to the cooking ritual that always soothed me. I am more aware of what I am feeding my body. I feel better physically. Mentally is up for grabs (for now).
I just wanted to share the reality of what is happening here in our new location. I don't quite know how to end this post other than to try to say something funny. How about "Mama said there'd be days like this.."? My Love to all of you...