Writing it Down

Author’s Note: Life has forever changed from the Pandemic of 2019. My perspective on it continues to morph as I hear about friends sickened by it, friends vaccinated because of it, and those who choose not to participate. For at least the next 3 to 5 years, I think I’ll be reflecting on life after Covid-19 and the challenges and opportunities it has brought us. Some of us will be calling it the “new normal” for a very long time. Personally, I see no point in looking back at pre-pandemic living, just to ache for its return. It's time to move on...

There will never be a better time to start recording your thoughts and experiences than right now. It is never too late. There are many forms it can take. Write letters, write short stories, write a novel, author a blog. Depending on the amount of time you have on your hands, you... 

Receiving with ease

I learned about the phrase "receive with ease" as a Unity truth student in the mid-90's. My interpretation of it has meant to accept the goodness that comes my way and not question whether or not I deserve it.  It also tells me not to wonder if there is "a catch" to such good fortune.  For me, that has meant learning to "relax into" the gifts I receive and savor the good feelings they invoke within my being.  In other words, let my self feel the love. Without going into detail, let's just say that I was very often disappointed growing up and learned not to expect people to keep their promises or build hope that what was promised would actually happen (for me).  So the importance of learning this concept has helped me to expect that good is always intended for me, that I deserve to have all the goodness (gifts) that come my way, and that if I am -- for any reason -- disappointed in the outcome of my expectations then that gift was not intended for me. "Don't take anything personally" -from chapter two of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel- contributed to my understanding of this concept. This is a comforting concept to embrace!

All this comes to my mind this morning as I experience all the good feelings and unexpected gifts from having moved across country from Florida, the verdant humid paradise, to Utah, the arid extremity of red rock, black lava and peeping greens that pop!  My heart is so grateful for the gift that Nathan and I have given ourselves with our life decision to purge and play for this indefinite period.  We have set the stage for new adventures, all of which will come wrapped in western sunrises and sunsets, vistas of red and orange and rust and black.  The energy of the mountains is the most powerful gift of all, to contribute to our spirits, our physical energy and youth, and the depth of our relationship.

Are we tired yet? Absolutely! We are somewhat exhausted by months of preparation that went into making this move.  The funny thing is that we agree the 11 day journey here felt more like a 4 day journey. Why? We don't care why. We accept the gift. We know it was just another sign that we are Supported in taking this step.  So now we rest and revel in our new surroundings, getting back to home cooking, sleeping without having to get up and attend to anything other than resting and eating and taking a walk. Our new home --for the next 4 months--has turned out to be a place for a perfect retreat from everything!  We haven't heard one siren. Instead, we hear absolute silence, and outside just the birds and an occasional golf cart drifting by on batteries. THANK YOU is all we can say!

We have left the building!

Reserved just for us... But I will be the first one in that bed tonight at my brother-in-law's house. This project has come to an end and we celebrated with a wonderful dinner. We leave tomorrow.

It was a wonderful day taping up boxes, finding room for it all in the car, and tidying up the house and yard. We are leaving it in such a beautiful state. Even though it was hot out we did one final small fire in the pit. Nathan drank a cold beer and I had a cold seltzer. We walked the yard and thanked it for feeding us such wonderful food and giving us such beauty to witness. We went through every room in the house admiring the colors and its cleanliness and the views out the windows. We said goodbye to it. I did a pictorial on the house for old times sake. I hope to share some of it with you in the near future. Now I am going to sleep like a woman freed from responsibility for a home. Good night my friends.

What should I say first?

I am honestly am a bit self conscious (who me?) about writing this blog, knowing that my thoughts and words will somehow be judged.  So this blog is really an experiment of sorts and a test of my courage. Remember that saying "Put your money where your mouth is"? Well I've been dreaming about this moment when I would be the writer I've always wanted to be but never had the time. This is it! Be warned, if you are waiting for something profound from me, I can't promise that. What I do promise is that I'll be honest about what I think. Many of you who know me pretty well can't imagine me any other way. 

By next Friday, our car will packed for our cross country road trip. The house is emptying out nicely, the echoes are growing throughout the house, and our final packing is underway. Nathan and I continue to be genuinely excited about what is coming and extremely kind to each other as we face this huge transition to a new lifestyle in another part of the U.S.  I can't speak for Nathan but I know that he too is parting with the house and yard and grasping onto his own sense of closure.  I have had some teary moments in the past week, realizing that our dream is coming true and that we are going to pay a price for it.  Change costs.

We are leaving our home!  If I could turn back the clock to last October when we decided to sell our home and possessions and move out West, I would not do it. I still know in my heart that it is time for us to move on. Nathan knows it too.  During other times in my life when I've experienced loss--and this is a loss of most all things I own and local friends whom I've known for over 30 years--I have walked through the fire, been cleansed, and emerged alive.  My history tells me that this will be no different.

I'm glad that you, my dear friends, are travelling with me. The gains are lining up to unfold.